i think i have two assholes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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