we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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