I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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