i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
