I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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