Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize