Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
