Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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