who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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