I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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