yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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