Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
