Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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