omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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