Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
