with your own penis?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
