Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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