He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
