I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
