i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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