So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
