So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
