Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
