i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
