? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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