you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Its about making memories worth repressing
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
