am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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