you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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