im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
