but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
