she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have aggressive nipples.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
