Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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