First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
