the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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