I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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