i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
