What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize