Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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