I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
