The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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