everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
