i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
