hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
