yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Im part way to drunk.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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