You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
