I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dick very happy bro
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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