i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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