I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
