the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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