I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
