Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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