Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
