In the future we'll all be gay
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
