oh god the rape fog is back!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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