but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
