Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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