So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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