But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize