scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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