if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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