i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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