census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
